Сценарий фильма "Догма"
For a liberal, yes, but this is the Angel of Death we're talking about. The Angel of Death can't be a conscientious objector. The Angel of Death is charged with meting out whatever justice God demands. So for their insolence, God decreed that neither Loki nor Bartleby would ever be allowed back into Paradise. BETHANY Were they sent to Hell? METATRON Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history. And when the world ends, they'll sit outside the gates for eternity. BETHANY And what's this have to do with me? METATRON Somebody's clued them in to a loophole in Catholic dogma that would allow them to reenter Heaven. BETHANY So what? They beat the system. Good for them. METATRON It's not that simple. If they get in, they will have reversed God's decree. Now listen up because this part is very important: existence in all it's form and splendor functions solely on one principle: God is infallible. To prove God wrong would undo reality and everything that is. Up would become down, black would become white, existence would become nothingness. In essence - if they are allowed to enter that church, they'll unmake the world. BETHANY Are these guys that bitter? METATRON No, that's the stupid part: they have no idea what their actions will result in. As far as they know, they're just going home. Isn't that sweet? BETHANY If this is so major, why are you talking to me? Why doesn't God do something? METATRON He could. He could blink them out of existence, destroy that church, turn them into plants. But He'd rather see you take care of this one personally. BETHANY Why me? METATRON Because of who you are. BETHANY And who am I? METATRON The girl in the p.j.'s. Don't ask so many questions just serve your purpose. BETHANY I'll pass. METATRON I beg your pardon? BETHANY When some asshole abortion doctor destroyed my uterus -where was God? When my husband decided he couldn't be with a wife that couldn't bear his children - where was God? Now all the sudden, after all these years of quiet noninvolvement in my life, He sends one of His lackey's my way who tells me I should save the world, and as what - some sort of test? To Hell with Him. METATRON Do yourself a favor Bethany - do the world a favor: let go of your petty crap. It's served you precious little in the past, and it serves you even less now when the fate of existence hangs in the balance. Don't allow eons of history and life to get blinked out of being just because you have a grudge against your creator. BETHANY A grudge? Do you know why I work in that clinic? It's my own private way of saying "fuck you" to God. METATRON And any other day I'd say that's your business and your life, and enjoy yourself and goodnight. But this isn't about you - this is about eve~body. So you lost the abiliry to make life. You're being offered the chance to play mother to the world by acting like one and protecting it - saving it. (swigs her drink and spits it out) But I can't make you. You'll do what you will. However, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You'll have support. BETHANY What, more angels? NIETATRON Prophets - although they don't quite get it yet. You'll know them right away - one speaks, the other listens. The one who speaks - and he will at great lengths, whether you want him to or not - will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one won't say anything, but he'll be helpful just the same. (looks at watch) I have to go. You'll do what you will, but try to remember that we're working in a time frame here. Metatron moves to exit. BETHANY (beat) Hey. (Metatron turns) You work for God. METATRON They tell me it's God. If it's not, I'm going to be severely pissed - what with all these years of bossing people around on his behalf and expectorating perfectly good tequila. BETHANY What's he like? God? METATRON (thinks) Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. BETHANY I'll bet. METATRON Look at sex. Sex is funny. One time I asked him why you people had to look so stupid while procreating. He said if you didn't, you'd do it all the time, just for fun. BETHANY But we do. METATRON I know. And you all look so damn stupid doing it. It kills us upstairs. BETHANY Sex is a joke in Heaven? METATRON The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here too. And with that, Metatron is gone. Bethany looks at her drink. A three-man mariachi band surround her and begin playing Prince's 'Little Red Corvette'. INT BETHANY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Bethany startles awake. The radio on her night-table plays 'Little Red Corvette'. She lays back down. INT BETHANY'S OFFICE - DAY Bethany sits at her desk, staring into space. A twenty-something girl speaks, butBethany's not really listening. She's extremely preoccupied. INT CLINIC - NIGHT Bethany shuts off the lights in the various rooms. She packs up her bag and turns on the alarm. EXT CLINIC - NIGHT Bethany exits and locks the door behind her. She starts walking. As her feet tread lightly toward her car, three small shadows move toward her. Bethany throws her bag on her car roof and rumages through her purse for her keys. She hears something and stops. Roller blades can be heard moving slowly across the asphalt of the parking lot. Bethany turns quickly. Nobody's there. She looks around, a bit peturbed. BETHANY (calling into the darkness) God, what time do you people quit and go home?! Let's just save it for tomorrow, alright? There's no response. Then there's the noise of wood being tapped against the ground. Bethany peers into the darkness, looking for the source. Suddenly, a skater whips past her, slamming his stick into the back of her knee. Bethany goes down. Another skater whips in and slashes at her, but she ducks. The stick hits the car door above her. She rifles through her purse madly until another skater whips by, dragging her purse away with his stick. Bethany looks up. The Stygian Triplets are lined up menacingly, a few feet from her. They tap their hockey sticks in unison on the ground. Bethany jumps up and faces them defensively. The Triplets emit an unholy shriek and charge at her. And from out of nowhere, a large figure swoops down from above, landing on the ground between Bethany and her menacers. The Triplets stop short and regard the figure curiously. The large figure whips into a defensive stance, Batman-style. The Stygian Triplets look to one another. They shrug and charge anew. From behind the rock-still large figure, a smaller figure leaps into the streetlight, shrieking, flying through the air, busting into a flying kick. He lands before the middle Triplet and open-palm punches him twice in the face, grabbing his stick from the falling child's hand and tossing it into the air behind him. The stick sails through the night air and is snatched by the grip of the large figure, who twirls it under his arm, and then back Out like a sai. He swings it out before him, knocking the other two Triplets off balance. The smaller figure back flips into the larger figure's arms and kicks his feet into the faces of the two wobbling Triplets. They go down, and the smaller figure leaps forward with a shriek, landing between the fallen pair, elbows into their backs. The flrst struck Triplet leaps out of the darkness at the large figure, screaming something unholy. The large figure catches the kid by the throat and quickly head butts him, tossing him to the side. The large figure sways for a beat and then shakes it off. The small figure collects the hockey sticks and throws them into the distance. He kicks at the falien Triplets as they scurry away. SMALL FIGURE (calling after them) GO BACK TO YOUR PAPER ROUTES, YOU PUNK FUCKS! (more to himself) Snoogans. The large figure saddles up beside the small figure. They look at one another and shake hands. SMALL FIGURE Dude, I know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucking asses! Bethany stares, mystified. She grabs her purse from the ground. BETHANY Where... where did you learn to do... that stuff?! SMALL FIGURE From this comic book some guys made about us. Long story. BETHANY (beat) I don't know what to say... or think. The figures turn into the light, revealing the faces of the heroes for the first time - two very familiar faces. SMALL FIGURE Say you'll offer us sex as a reward. BETHANY Who are you? The large figure lights up a smoke. The small one extends his hand. SMALL FIGURE Jay. And this is my business associate, Silent Bob. BIETHANY Well thank you for being out here so late... Come to think of it, what are you doing out here so late? (freezes) Wait a second are you protestors? JAY What's a protestor? BETHANY You're not with the Fight-to-Lifer's? JAY You mean those fucks with the signs and pictures of dead babies? Shit no. Me and Silent Bob are pro-choice:a woman 5 body is her own fucking business. BETHANY Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around? JAY We're here to pick up chicks. BETHANY (a bit stunned) Excuse me? JAY We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck. BETHANY (taken aback) Oh. Right. Well, I should be going. Thanks for the rescue... I think. JAY (shocked) Wait, wait, wait - we just saved your ass, and you're just going to take off? What the shit is that? BETHANY I had a weird night last night, and now tonight's not shaping up to be any better. I think I should go home, take some percosets, and lay down. (opens her car door) JAY (to Silent Bob) How about that shit? Fuck this town, man - I'm going back to Jersey and selling weed~ (they start walking) At least there I can get turned down while trying to make myself a profit. Bethany freezes. Metatron's words echo in her ear. She shakes her head. BETHANY |
